Saturday, February 27, 2010

its still hurting

no thursday classes this week because of snow. wednesday was just agility for berlin, classes for rah. next week rah will only be in utility. im limiting things for financial reasons and to keep things easy on him until i know how he will be doing. ironically, he's going to be trialing in open pretty heavily next month so im wondering if i should keep him in open too.

a few people have made comments about me continuing to train him and that option, and a few more have made comments about my option to continue to show him. someone made an implication as to what would happen if he dropped dead at a show.

dont you think i worry about that? don't you think its a concern i have? you think its not a concern i have about every little thing he does?

i dont know. its still so fresh. im still so angry. and sometimes im still so lost about all of this. and sometimes i still just sit here and cry because im afraid im up against a time limit that im not going to be able to beat. taking him to classes is sometimes the hardest thing i can do. having him sit out of agility just watching.

this hurts in so many ways. maybe its just more obvious in dog training and showing because it plays such a large part in our lives.


manymuddypaws said...

I am so sorry for you, and for Rah. I say do what you can while you have him. I am sure at this point you are already cherishing every moment- even those moments in class and trialing.

Sometimes things just really aren't that fair.

Kathie R said...

Kim, We know that dogs 'live in the moment' and I think that's what we all need to do more of. Enjoy the moment - in training, trialing, and everything you do with Rah. I am wondering how much time I have left with my six-year-old Dane, so am determined to have fun with training and learn to enjoy the ride more - not think about the end of the trip :) Best wishes to you and Rah - enjoy the ride!

Dawn said...

I am so sorry you have to make these choices. You live with him, you are his person, and you are the one who will know when he can, when he shouldnt. You will make the right choices even when they are hard. You love him and he loves you. Dont let others not living in the moment tell you what is right-you will know. Hugs.